Solitude

It's been years since the last post. And still looking forward for something new. Like breaking the routine projects. Having a seminar in less than a week and a presentation for the next day after will be a mess. Really? I've never been a speaker before and after the English for Office presentation project. And yet, I have to learn hows the real seminar is. I have not time for doing the lovely dovey thingy all over the place. So many assignments and no time to breath, even for a cup of coffee. I wish I did something out of the box back there. I have lots of things to think of.. Makes me thinking that I don't wanna get married and solitude really is taking my self away from my relationship. Well, that's weird because I'm typing with his pc and thinking about all of this stuff. 

It's just, marriage is a high problem to deal with. And I'm enjoying my life rn. Don't get me wrong but.. Changing someone isn't one of my mission and I was accepting someone for who he WAS and it was when I felt the butterflies in my stomach. It's just weird like when u fall asleep and finally gain your consciousness and wake up, take a deep breath and realize that your life is shit good; that you make your own life to be what you are right now. I didn't do something, take it from granted. But to speak about your emotions inside your brain isn't as easy as speak about wise words and to be a bad ass person. Speak is easier than do what u said earlier.

And yet, I said I wanna go outside and live my life outside the country. Feel the nerve to speak about this big world to adventure. I need someone who wants to deal with my ideas and everything about all of these things inside my head. I wanna learn BIG. Not to stay still. I hate routine things all over again and again and again.