Vincent

June, 7th 2015
Finally, i could do something.

July 2015
Recently, he always be infront of his laptop; gaming (his job). Or, another job that i helplessly can't ask him to tell me. I tried so many times to hide those mind blowing questions inside my head, praying like a good prayer or not even pray any for this both just still drive me crazy. keep myself busy for 2 whole month with family activities. I almost forgot that i have a 'quest' to know what's my grandfather's known to be, and i know it, like' now. I'm really happy.

Agust, 4th 2015
I've been lowering my ego. I couldn't find myself like i used to be, i even bother my dad. Almost scream at him for no reason that he said. I think it's not natural for me to yell at him. I should know why. I guess i need to shut down my phone. I don't want to bother him. Both my dad and my 'kouhai' a.k.a. 'RW'

Agust, 8th 2015
I Tried to challenge myself, nah, my relationship. I gave my facebook account to my editor. And let her be there. She could use my iCloud account that connected into it. I'm going to attend Japanese class and Driving class. And also, trying to trust him if everything she did never hurt him, and i could approve it.

Agust, 9th 2015
I miss him, but, it seems like it doesn't bother him much. I tried to know why i stop our communication. Yes, it's the first time i mad at him for the serious time like this.

Agust, 10th 2015
Mum's birthday. The fact is, he never tried to ask what's happend with me. Am i too greedy? Just want him to call me. or... Just ask me what's happend. Geez, i need to ask my editor. For what happend.

Agust, 11th 2015
I Think I'll just go somewhere else. My project suspended.

"Love isn't about burden. Isn't ONLY about passion and ego. You have to see this with your own eyes" She said things with no weight.

Agust, 12th 2015
So, Today, finally i know what happend. My editor just accept someone's Friend Request that later known that my k-o-u-h-a-i just hate him like i do. It might be ended by...
Why... So Selfish.. He never know what happens here.
"You never understand me"  He said that.
I just want to cry, but my hands was too heavy and way more hurt. So why? Why can't i cry like a girl who just get dumped. Or Just hurting someone's feeling because they can't understand you!?
I Rewind everything my Guru said to me ;
"you choose something that bothers you."  I thought i could it was about my faculty stuff.
"Take care of your eyes, what you see and what you feel. If it's only your imagination." And I thought it was about astral things. Games = eye sore.
And this one, By Dien Ilmi ; Inside Dirga's Quote
"It's not about love if it's hurt you and don't let you contact others." 

I Don't know why so many things it change
Can i say ; "Like you ever did" ? Because that's the fact.

The thing is. There'll be no good relation. when both of you become someone else that NOT YOU or it HARM YOU.

Can i say I just get dumped ?